Friday 16 December
6 days sober
RR 100%
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.

Was listening to some 12 step speaker material yesterday. Going to try to follow some advice from it today. It means keeping a running inventory of whenever my personal serenity/calm is disturbed. This doesn't mean taking a mental note of the specific occurance/person/whatever that is "to blame" but rather the feeling, be it anger/resentment/whatever feeling that has caused a blockage to my serenity. This is because my only interest in doing this is becoming undisturbed. Being disturbed is my problem. So just take a mental note of the fact my serenity has been disturbed and let this feeling go/discharge it. By doing this regularly it will stop a huge charge of disturbance building up.

5 days sober
RR 100%

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.

So it was November yesterday according to this! Yup I think I tend to still be half asleep when I'm doing this first thing int he morning haha. Anyway, main thing is that I do update it even though I only get the date correct occasionally

Well, I tried to apply the positive principles I took on board at work again yesterday, and once again they really helped. I'm feeling more jaded this morning than yesterday morning, I think that is from a general build up of work as we are deeper into the week. Just want to keep a focus today on the fact that the 12 steps are the answer to me getting happy and sober. I need to remember that because I know when times get tough my brain will try to make up a different answer.

Wednesday 14 November
4 days sober
Resolve to stay sober rating 100%

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.

Well, looks like I got the date wrong yesterday when updating this - I guess that's a morning thing haha. Went to a 12 step meeting last night which was very beneficial as usual. Important to remember that this 12 step programme works and it's results that count. I'm planning to start going to a church near where I live as well. I tried to implement some of the positive thinking yesterday at work I had encountered over the weekend. So stuff like allowing myself to see the good in the world, and even though I can still improve so much more I did notice an immediate difference in that I stayed much calmer at work, and felt less resentment and anger. Although towards the end of the working day I did start to feel bored/restless I definitely left work feeling more serene than usual at that point.

Hope everyone has a happy and sober day.
Jeff.

Tuesday 12 December
3 days sober
Resolve to stay sober rating: 100%

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.

Had a really good thought yesterday. A 12 step programme isn't just about being sober. It's about being happy and sober at the same time. For too long I have had the attitude of "life is a bit rubbish, you just have to make the best of it." Or "you can't be happy all the time so just don't concern yourself with being happy". Now I'm thinking, "yeah, maybe it's not realistic to be happy all the time but you can certainly strive to be happy all the time. And if you try, then maybe one day you will be happy all the time, and even if you aren't it's important to have that hope that you can grow and improve to become happer."

Was also thinking about believing in God. A while ago I was thinking about the whole freewill vs fate thing. I believe in freewill. I am willing to entertain the idea that fate exists and everything that is to happen in the future is pre-determined in the Universe. Maybe that is the case for all I know, I just don't know for sure. What I do know is that I am happier believing in freewill, and I live my life better believing in freewill. That is the case regardless of whether the universe is governed by freewill or fate in reality. Even if the Universe was governed by fate, my fate is better believing in freewill.

In this way, I believe in God because I need a higher power's help to be happy and sober from this addiction. I can't get happy and sober on my own, with just my own willpower. I have tried multiple times and it doesn't work.

Monday 12 December
2 days sober
RR 100%
Want to start by saying a prayer (well typing it anyway!)

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.

So first thing that pops into my head is something I heard at a 12 step meeting I went to yesterday. Rather than stressing about being sober forever, just focus on staying sober for the next 24 hour period. And if you are really struggling just don't act out for the next hour. So I know I keep a sober day count on here, but I want to just concentrate on making it 3 days sober - doesn't matter what happens on day 4. Even if I act out on day 4 - that doesn't matter because only day 3 matters right now.

Anyway, hope everyone has a good day!